


Everything he is, Everything he is not

by Perditus



Category: Kamen Rider Gaim
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mostly-Canon, Slash, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 20:36:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2322371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perditus/pseuds/Perditus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a progression of events that was never going to lead to anything at all. Until it did, and it just so happened to be the end of the world.</p>
<p>Either way, Kaito isn’t sorry, but knowing Kouta, he probably is.</p>
<p>Written for Kazuraba-Kouta's End of Gaim Songfic Challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything he is, Everything he is not

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Kazuraba-Kouta's End of Gaim Songfic Challenge](http://kazuraba-kouta.tumblr.com/post/96067331422/kazuraba-koutas-end-of-gaim-tokusatsu-songfic). Song is [They Will Fall Like Roses](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqHBcZts-xw) by [of Verona](http://www.songlyrics.com/of-verona/they-will-fall-like-roses-lyrics/). Spoilers for the series (up to 45, at least).

_There's a hazy glow you cannot save.  
Memories flood like acid rain._

Yggdrasil stands tall and imposing, everything he’s not. There’s contempt in his gaze, and probably a little bit of jealousy as well, but he knows he is at fault for his weakness. He is a fool for believing dancing would prove his strength in a sufficient manner.

He could not destroy that which had power when he had none to speak of. 

“Ne, Kaito, right?” There’s a voice behind him, and his eyes narrow. Yet he does not turn.

“What?” There is a moment of pause, and he cranes his head around to stare at the newcomer. He’s short, but the retro-samurai design on his hoodie betrays his identity. “What does a member of Gaim want here?”

“I could ask you that question.” His hands are in his pockets, and he walks up to Kaito’s side, staring at the Yggdrasil tower with less hatred and more wonder. There’s something unreadable, in his eyes, some long-forgotten emotion that’s been wiped clean several times until all that remains is the faint outline on a whiteboard.

Kaito does not question how he knows his name.

“That’s none of your business.” Kaito lets out something akin to a huff and turns on his heel, marching off into the distance. Perhaps to return to Baron’s HQ, or to simply leave the company of choice imparted on him.

He should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. There are footsteps rushing behind him. “Don’t you think it’s strange that all these teams are suddenly being told to play the Inves Games? I mean—it’s a bit suspicious.”

“I think it’s a little strange to be asking someone you don’t know these questions.” The Baron member shoots back his retort with ease. “Especially when they have no desire to talk to you.” It wasn’t a hint. It was a blatant, straight-forward statement meant to send him scuttling off to whatever it is he did in his free time.

Past times that didn’t include pestering rival team members. “F-fine!” The boy, if he can be called that, is _pouting_. His lips pursed together tightly, like he’s refraining from saying anything else. He’s short, rather unintimidating, but there’s a humming energy underneath his skin, electricity crackling at his fingertips. “I was being serious, though.”

He might be a worthy adversary for Kaito, and when the taller doesn’t reply he keeps on speaking. “ _Sorry_ for _bothering_ you.” He doesn’t sound sorry, and Kaito’s image of him is suddenly repainted. He apologized when he should not have, and for that he has shown weakness.

Kaito no longer has interest. He has no time for such frivolous dancers. It’s only until he blinks and suddenly finds himself alone that he realizes he didn’t even know the other boy’s name. Kaito thinks nothing of it, and heads home.

**. . .**

Kaito doesn’t run into him again until he’s, well, not _slinking_ about, but he’s certainly _lurking_. Inspecting the competition by touring the other stages around the city— _his_ city. By most displays, he is unimpressed and is left scoffing at how they’ve still managed to stay on their feet. They are _weak._

Gaim, however, is a different story, and he is particularly drawn to the boy that bothered him weeks before. The same boundless energy is present, but his smile is not genuine. He seems troubled, and that in turn troubles Kaito. Simply because he should not be bothered with the affairs of a stranger he does not know nor care about.

He remembers an unnecessary apology and makes a noise in the back of his throat. He blinks and watches them finish their routine, and then the boy’s face drops and he pulls aside the leader as soon as they exit the stage.

There is a hushed exchange and he looks pained. It has piqued something in Kaito, and one of the girls from the team—the one with the long, dark hair who always moves with the fluidity of water crosses over to the pair. She cries his name loudly, sounding hurt and shocked, and the rest of the team rushes over not too long afterwards.

_Kouta_. The name tastes foreign on his tongue. 

Kaito tells himself he does not care, and he leaves. 

* * *

  


_When the sun turns red and starts to hurt  
and you know what was said was undeserved._

Kaito challenges Kazuraba Kouta because he can. Because he has the strength to, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the look of surprise written over his face when he pulls out a Sengoku driver and lockseed.

He becomes Baron and he is strong.

He can fight against Yggdrasil. Dancing has become second in his mind only to fighting, no matter how much Gaim seems to protest it. There is nothing to be found in fighting for stages, not anymore.

Yet he does so because he can. He thinks he would have preferred to face Gaim head on, instead of hiding behind a motorbike but he voices no complaint because either way he would win, and in the end that is all that matters.

Without people to watch them, the fight quickly becomes useless. There is more information to be found in that forest, and Kaito catalogues everything in his mind for later use. He will use it all to his advantage in the larger scheme of things.

Kazuraba won’t stop following him. He was opposed to fighting him since the start, and he wonders if it has to do with more than simply the fact that his team and his stage is in no danger. “We don’t _have_ to fight.”

“In which case you’re a bigger coward than I originally thought.” Kaito acquiesces. There is no mercy to be found in his words, and it seems to frustrate the other dancer.

“I don’t _want_ to fight you.” This stops Kaito, and Kazuraba has that strange look in his eyes yet again. The one that has not been discerned.

“I will fight anyone in my way.”

“And if I’m not?” He looks hopeful, now. He saw a chance and acted upon it, and the Baron leader cannot begrudge him of this. The taller takes a longer moment to respond, his eyes fixated on one of the strange fruits of the forest.

“You are.” 

**. . .**

They’re in Sengoku Ryouma’s lab, and neither of them have words. Kaito had long lost the Christmas game and it bothers him to be beaten by both Gaim and the white armored rider who far outclassed him.

Hase is dead and he is unsurprised. He isn’t entirely sorry but he is sympathetic. Still, there is no place in the world for the weak and he allowed himself to be taken over by the fruit. He would not have made it much longer. 

Kaito no longer thinks of Kazuraba as his enemy. He is unsure what category he falls into, besides someone to watch out for. He has a hidden strength that was well buried even from him, and it leaves him distrustful.

He focuses on what the professor tells him, and thinks.

There is now a name to put to the forest.

_Helheim_. The name tastes foreign on his tongue.

He will not blindly accept an explanation.

Kazuraba, at least, is naïve enough to be of use to him. They worked together well enough earlier in destroying a common enemy, and while Kaito will be the one to decimate Yggdrasil, they appear to have that as a common enemy as well. 

He will not become a lab rat, and even without asking he knows Kazuraba feels the same way. He could hardly say they escape together, but Kazuraba is more concerned about gathering information and leaving and Kaito fights his way through because running is not in his nature.

* * *

  


_What I wouldn’t give_  
 _What I could never give  
_ _I would have given to you_

“That was cruel, even for you.” Kouta’s hands are on the table in front of him, and the other Baron members have dispersed. Kaito knows they will not remain silent for much longer. They are here to dance, even if they share his ideology about standing atop all the others.

“It was the truth.” Kaito snorted, his eyes still focused on the deck in front of him. He had no desire to participate in the All Beat Riders Dance. He will choose his own fate, and now his target is completely Yggdrasil.

His hatred is all-consuming, and he is unafraid.

“You don’t have to…” Kouta shakes his head, pulling himself backwards. He’s probably going to leave now, and Kaito takes the cue for what it is before climbing the stairs. He is shocked that Kouta seems to follow. “You don’t have to fight alone.”

“Is that your way of offering help?” He stops so suddenly the shorter man almost runs into his back.

“If you wanted it.” It’s not an answer, not really, but Kaito spin and there’s a look on his face as he leans down and takes Kouta’s chin in his long, elegant fingers. There’s a sudden stillness of the air around them but Kouta doesn’t dare try to pull away.

“I _take_ what I want.” The Baron leader tells him with narrowed eyes. Kouta wants to argue that, wants to tell him that eventually there’s going to be something that he can’t achieve through power of will alone, that one day maybe his strength won’t be _enough_ but suddenly he can’t breathe because there’s a force against his lips that he belatedly realizes are Kaito’s lips.

He doesn’t pull away, because, well, he can’t argue he didn’t want this but it was so _sudden_. Kouta pulls back and murmurs a name against his skin and Kaito cannot help but feel as though he’s won a victory, however small.

He is not naïve as Kazuraba is, and he knows this will not change things. They are both too headstrong in their beliefs and Kaito, for one, will bow to no one. Kazuraba just wants to avoid the fighting and hasn’t figured anything out yet, but he will not stand for any injustices.

It is where they are the same, but different. They can enjoy the moments for what they are worth which, granted, may not be much in the grander scheme of things. Neither of them protest, for now.

**. . .**

“Hey! I’m coming with you.”

“Do what you want.” Kaito always knew this day was going to come. He was going to have to leave behind Baron, his friends, in order to further his own goals and fight his own battles that they have no part in.

It is hard to tell where Kazuraba’s part falls, so just as he did earlier he will simply accept it. He is of use and the Baron leader—ex-Baron leader will never admit to how grateful he may or may not be for the assistance.

He knows he will have to walk this path alone. It is the nature of strength, particularly his strength. It is not so bad to have company at his side, for once, but the second Kazuraba gets in the way is the second he will cut him away by force or otherwise.

No such _sentimentality_ will stop him. “Kaito!” Kazuraba’s hand is a warm weight wrapped around his wrist, and Kaito blinks at him. The shorter man’s smile is gentler than it should have been and Kaito fears he may have made a mistake. “I’m serious, okay?”

“I won’t stop you.” _I also won’t encourage you_. Lest he get comfortable, Kaito will not encourage him. He’s already stupidly heroic as it is, and his nature is so easy to take advantage of. (He’s though about doing it a few times before dismissing such ideas from his head. There is no honor to be found in underhanded tricks. He will leave that to the others.)

“Good!” Kazuraba nods like he wouldn’t accept any other answer. He probably _wouldn’t_ accept any other answer. “Just because you aren’t in Baron anymore doesn’t mean you’re not a Beat Rider.”  
He sounds like he knows something the taller man doesn’t. As if ensuring his team was left in good hands and assisting them was an act of kindness rather than survival. Zack needed to become strong, and Kaito was only there to ease the transition. There is no one else he would have trusted his team to. 

Being a leader was always an isolated job, but he never considered the alternative, either. He will not missing dancing when he has better ways to prove his strength. He will protect the weak while molding the world in a new image.

Despite that, he does not mind Kazuraba’s presence.

* * *

  


_All the jealous cries of the misunderstood  
Currency of the restrained_

Kaito does not need Kazuraba to tell him that Yggdrasil is simply using him. He, in turn, is only using Yggdrasil for more power until he can figure out how to dismantle the system from the inside out. They gave him the weapons with which they will be destroyed.

“We can reason with the Overlords! What are you doing?”

He wants to laugh. He _does_ laugh. Kazuraba can’t be this blind. Not when he has mysterious power that can only be half attributed to lockseeds that come from seemingly nowhere and continue to utterly baffle the professor.

Not that it is hardly a concern of his. Kaito is finally able to stand tall, by combination of his own strength and the raw ability of the Genesis Driver.

“They see humans as things to be crushed.” The words are not too much, and he feels no guilt in saying them. He was never a gentle man and his words would not be a false reflection of who he was. Not when the world had less than ten years.

They didn’t have time for frivolous things. The _world_ didn’t have time for frivolous things.

“That’s ridiculous!” Kazuraba is angry, now, and he has to stand on the tips of his toes in order to even be close to eye level. He’s leaning forward, and his lip is curled back in a growl that doesn’t make him look intimidating.

“You’re a fool if you think otherwise.” Kaito growls right back at him, his voice low. He realizes, probably a little too late, that Kazuraba is easily sparked by words and it will only be made worse by the fact that they have been distant of late, each too absorbed in their own battles to bother reaching out for the other.

Kazuraba does not take well to loneliness. 

Kaito thrives in it.

“You don’t have to prove anything.” Kazuraba’s voice cracks on the words, yet he could not be more wrong. Kaito has _everything_ to prove to _everyone_. Kazuraba leans forward, his hand moving towards Kaito’s neck before he hesitates and pulls away. “We just need to _try_.”

Disgusted, the taller armored rider completely steps backwards. “Trying is not enough.” It is meant to be snapped, but it sounds more tired coming from his lips. “The weak _try_. I will accomplish. It’s our right to conquer.” _As the victors_ goes unsaid. It’s strange that he includes the other rider in this.

He will not lie when he says there is something that stirs in him when Kazuraba is willing to take any length necessary to stop him.

**. . .**

Until he’s shot in the back. Kaito hates cowards and he hates rats who slink in the shadows and watch for the moment to drive the knife into the strong when their faces are turned away. It’s not the only reason he stop Kureshima Mitsuzane but it _is_ the most obvious.

He feels dull satisfaction when the boy runs off with his tail between his legs. Kazuraba is hardly what he would consider an enemy, and when the time comes for them to fight it will be…honorable, in a way. He will have no regrets, and it is one of the only thoughts on his mind as he kneels down beside the other man whose face is in the dirt and his body prone to any other attacks in the vicious environment.

Kazuraba’s body is deceivingly small—but there is muscle packed into his short frame, and Kaito nearly stumbles under the weight simply because he is shocked. He should have known better than to underestimate his…whatever he was. Nuisance, ally, almost-lover. He’s almost gentle as he navigates through Helheim. He finds a spot suitable for Kazuraba (it would keep him safe for a few hours) and lays his body on a high branch.

He’s in an awkward position, half propped against the trunk of the alien vegetation with Kazuraba in his arms as he’s trying to make sure the other simply won’t fall from the high point while unconscious.

His hand trails down the side of the other’s face. His features are not as sharp as Kaito’s, but they are strong and his jawline is an elegant slope that frames and accentuates every expression on his face. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and Kaito doesn’t know where to begin.

He will be fine for another day, and Kaito must continue fighting his own war before he can think of pursuing anything else. He leaps down from the tree, and walks.

* * *

  


_But you break everything you touch  
For me it was too much_

Kazuraba’s head is bowed in his hands. He’s probably wondering how everything came to this so quickly, and Kaito is honestly disappointed it took this long for the city to fall. Not to say he eagerly awaited it, but everyone had been holding their breath while the other shoe dropped and because of it they were breathless.

The red Overlord, the one Kaito humiliated in battle (he is not sure why the name Demushuu springs to his mind) is wreaking havoc in Zawame. His city, his home, the one that outside forces thought they could just saunter in and control everything with a flick of the wrist.

He was able to prove them wrong now.

“Everything went so wrong so quickly.” Kazuraba’s voice is hardly a croak, and he doesn’t lift his head. Kaito thinks he would have liked to punch some sense into him—little does he know that Kazuraba is close to doing the same exact thing to him.

And above that, the Inves were invading. The city was a rush of evacuating citizens ( _weak_ ) and everything was quickly falling into ruins. “You knew this would happen.” Anger is the only thing that has been heard from him as of late.

“So?” Kazuraba cries, finally snapping his gaze towards him as Kaito takes the seat next to his, crossing his arms and keeping his eyes fixated forward. “That doesn’t mean anything!”  
Kaito sighs, closing his eyes briefly to collect his thoughts. It means everything, did he not see that? The world was always bound to change, he just never thought that he could be the one to do it.

“Are you a fool?” Kaito eventually snaps. “You _knew_ nothing could change this, and you fought anyway. Your plan has failed, and now your only alternative is to fight for Zawame.” A critical gaze, and then an unfair question. “Or is your cowardice too much?”

An incredibly unfair question. Kazuraba stands, slamming his hands down on the table. “Of course not! How could you even ask something like that?”

He glares up at the shorter man from between his lashes. 

“I’m going to fight for everyone.”

Worst part is, Kaito believes him. He’s just enough of the hero type to believe he _can_ and he’ll be utterly devastated to find that it’s just not possible. There are too many weak people in the world to possibly save them all.

“This city belongs to a lot more than just the beat riders.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” He doesn’t offer anything else, and Kazuraba just gives him a small, knowing smile—a strict dichotomy from the explosive anger he had just released moments before.

Kaito narrows his eyes at the contradiction. “What do you--”

“Never mind.” Kazuraba says, and suddenly he is straddling the taller man. Kaito is unsure of how he moved so quickly and knows he is simply being distracted from the larger conversation at hand. Yet, the ex-Gaim dancer rests his forearms on the other’s shoulders, causing his shirt to rise and expose a sliver of skin just above his waist and Kaito becomes increasingly aware that he is a firm weight on his lap.

Just this once, he lets himself be distracted.

**. . .**

“Is that the kind of power you want?” Kazuraba is bloody, he cannot even stand on his own and yet he is chasing after Kaito and digging his teeth into his ankles (in a purely metaphorical sense, of course).

The taller’s hand is tangled in his collar and he’s practically keeping him upright at this point. “Of course!” His voice is a yell, and he doesn’t seem to care that they are not alone in the garage. Everyone is crowded around Kazuraba, the hero who’s wormed his way into everyone’s hearts.

(Kaito is included in this, as much as he doesn’t wish to be.)

“How can you say that?” Kazuraba is close to tears, now. He feels betrayed, and it is obvious in his eyes. It’s as if he thinks he will be able to shake Kaito from his beliefs if he just uses words but he should know by now that Kaito will stop at nothing to achieve what he wants, and no amount of affection will stop that.

He always listened better to fists.

“I want the power to destroy anyone in my way.” The tension in the room keeps rising, higher and higher until it’s amazing they can still breathe. “To become the strongest—it’s only then you can protect the weak from those who would crush them!”

Kazuraba is at his ends and he finally collapses, and Kaito still doesn’t think Kazuraba understands yet. That is fine. He will prove himself by defeating the Overlord, and he doesn’t think twice about leaving behind the other. He doesn’t even glance backwards.

* * *

  


_They will fall like roses, like roses  
They will fall like roses, like roses_

There is a moment of reprieve, almost. On a hillside that was spared from Helheim’s wrath. There is only Zawame here, with Kazuraba and Mai looking over the city. It took Kaito a while to understand where the girl’s strength came from.

She never gave up. She was strong because she kept smiling and dancing and thought she could save all of her friends. Hope is what she runs on, and Kaito is proud to call her a friend. Not that he would ever say it out loud.

Kazuraba, however, is still a mystery. He wants to save everyone, yes, but Kaito wants to know _how. Why._ Where does your resolve come from, Kazuraba Kouta? What are you prepared to do? How far are you prepared to go?

“That’s her strength. I want to know what yours is.”

Mai gives him a smile, bright enough to outshine the sun. She is beautiful, in a different way than Kazuraba is. “I want to know too. Hey, Kouta, after this is over I want you to tell me what it is you want, okay?”

Kaito can see how deeply he is thinking, and his other hand unconsciously wraps itself around the infected wound he received from Redyue not too long before. He is unsure where it will lead but he will not succumb to the injury. Not until he is finished.

The ex-Baron leader always knew what he was fighting for, and he thinks he’s maybe just begun to achieve it. He can stand on his own and others recognize his strength for the raw intensity it was, rather than just a fit of anger brought on by monsters and other riders.

“You asked me what kind of future I’m fighting for. Where my strength comes from.” Kazuraba sits down next to him on a barstool. Somehow, they are alone in the garage. Kaito glances at him sideways, arms still crossed over his chest. “Well,” And Kazuraba clears his throat a little bit. “I think I figured out half of that. And maybe I’d like a future with you in it.” He tries almost bravely, holding the taller man’s gaze.

Kaito’s lips twitch into an almost smile and he tries to ignore the searing pain in his arm. He does not respond.

* * *

  


_You don't know just what you've done  
You don't know who I've become_

Kazuraba left him behind, and for that he is more willing to fight him than he ever was. The power of the Golden Fruit…it is something he needs to rewrite the world and make it his own. The way the world should have been from the start, so no amount of pride would be used to oppress the weak ever again.  
Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

It is why he is now certain that the apocalypse is the only world in which he can truly survive, isolated from the others because worldly attachments didn’t mean much to him anyway. (Somewhere in the back of his mind he wonders when he became this way. Was it some genetic code written deep within his DNA? Was he always meant to be this way? Or was it a recent development?)

_You see now how far he’s surpassed you,_ Sagara had said.

He was correct and Kaito curses himself for his vulnerability. He let Kazuraba get too close too quickly. Letting his feelings run with restraint or temperament. If he is certain of anything, it is that he needs _that power_ , more desperately than he’s ever needed anything in his entire life.

**…**

The fruit of Helheim is a cool weight in his palm. Its flesh is easily torn apart by his teeth and his hunger and he can already feel the poison cursing through his veins, just as it had since he was a child and just beginning to learn the ways of the world.

He did not think that the others would see him as a monster. If he so chose, he would simply toss them aside in favor of others. There was nothing stopping him now. He did not do this to hurt or defeat Kazuraba.

He was not thinking about Kazuraba at all.

* * *

  
 _So let them fall and let them come_  
 _Let them know damage not done  
_ _Let them see this is the hope_

_Let them know I want them_

Yggdrasil stands as a shadow of its former glory--weak and crumpled. Everything he’s not. There’s no contempt in his gaze, and yet he knows he is at fault. Perhaps he always knew it would come to this.

It was going to end bloodily or victoriously. They were always going to fight.

He raises his hand, chin held high and proud. Inves bow at his feet, as he is the king. He will fight Kazuraba for his new world, and he steps forward with no hesitation. 

There is no one he would rather have decide his fate, after all.


End file.
